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  • Writer's pictureAini

Baby Steps 1: The struggle of beginnings and squashing that pesky inner perfectionist

One of my biggest issues is taking action on my creative urges. I know I “want” to create art, I just can’t get myself to pick up whichever tool I need to create.

I procrastinate.

Depression is a big part in this. There is a big lack in my drive. I always procrastinated on my work before but in 2019 that became very obvious to me when I was blessed by my friends with projects to work on.

I pushed the work off until days before my deadlines and then when the absolute last second arrived I finally got the drive to pick myself together and work.

The weirdest part however is that once I get over that initial hurdle I don’t like stopping. I get so into it that I pull all-nighters. It’s unhealthy behavior.

I read and heard countless times about how humans are creatures of habit. Once you ingrain a habit into your daily activities it becomes much easier to keep it up.

I started implementing small changes to my daily activities and I noticed the change immediately.

But I quickly ran into the sister of procrastination, perfectionism.

There is always that voice in my head that tells me that I’m not doing well enough. This could be adjusted and there’s a fix for that etc.

It has literally kept me from posting work in progress shots of my latest works to my Instagram stories. (Social media perfectionism is a whole different beast to tackle but hey, BABY STEPS!)

I am a very detail oriented person, when I work on something I focus on minuscule details that no normal human being will pay attention to. This turns a fun illustration into a week long exhausting project for me.

The solution ?

Simple, make imperfection a habit.

So expect a bunch of sketches, WIPs and unfinished works from me in the near future!

I’m starting with the header for this entry. It’s an old sketch inspired by some OC’s I’ve had in my head for the past 15 years or so! Once day I’d like to take the time and build a short story or comic with them! But baby steps first, it’s time to build good habits - Now!

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